My pathetic 2012 review

I've been horrible about keeping track of my year as I had planned to do as part of this blog.  I WILL DO BETTER next year!!

January

This was a pretty laid back, boring month.  It didn't snow and we had unseasonably warm weather.  We made and quickly broke the resolutions we made.

Just back from the NYE party at church

February

I started and failed at this blog weighing in at 327.  We took the T&T program over for AWANA at our church when the current directors moved away. We went to a super bowl party at church to watch Eli Manning play...at least one Manning got to play even though Peyton had his worst year ever.  I also came down with a sinus infection and double ear infection.  Now that I am looking back, I realize I hardly took any pictures this year and zero in February.

March

We took our T&T group to Evansville to do bible quizzing for the first year and then returned to do games hoping to continue our victory from last year...unfortunately we took second in games.  I went to my last event with the Widows group at my church. Dwaine went to Twin Lakes men camp with the men of our church.

April

Dwaine and I started to seriously contemplate AWANA missionary positions and joined as a Missionary team member for the State of Indiana.  We wrapped our AWANA year with our T&T kids and held a pizza party for them. We laid hardwood floors in house.

May

We celebrated our forth wedding anniversary.  We started leading the summer Wednesday night series for 3-5 graders at church. Our cat had three kittens and I got to keep one, Cougar.

June

 I was a teacher for 10 year-olds in VBS.  We held a pool party for current and in-coming T&T kids. We ended our gym membership and bought some gym equipment.

July

We began to train with an amazing AWANA missionary to learn how to do Basic Training.  We helped out our church's fourth at first community outreach event on the 4th of July in 100+ degree heat resulting in the worst sunburn I'd ever had. We took the current and incoming T&T kids to an Evansville Otter baseball game and firework show.

August

We began to run our own Basic Trainings in our area for AWANA.  We started gearing up for our own AWANA club starting. We planned our trip for our five year wedding anniversary to the bahamas.

September

We continued with Basic Trainings.  We started our AWANA club year with a bunch of great leaders and clubbers.  I broke my poor camera.  We celebrated my 31st birthday. We went to our first AWANA conference in Bedford, Indiana.

October

We decided to pursue an AWANA missionary position within the US.  We taught children's church.  Our church had their annual trunk or treat for Halloween on the coldest night ever.  We decorated our trunk to represent the tangled web of lies we weave.  We went to our second AWANA conference in Kokomo, Indiana.

November

We paid off my car while the transmission in Dwaine's SUV began to mess up.  My camera miraculously began to work again.  I got an ipad as an early Christmas present. We passed the missionary statement part of the AWANA missionary application process.

December

We got 19 inches of snow from Blizzard 2012. We celebrated Christmas.  We passed the background and financial check part of the AWANA missionary application process.

Detour to January

It's totally safe to say that I have fallen off the healthy lifestyle bandwagon. Not only have I fallen, I have been totally left behind. I know that this is totally my fault, but dang it's really hard to turn down yummy, delicious holiday treats. Everyone has been bringing in Christmas candies, pizza, and cakes. AHH! I have no willpower, so I am doing the worst thing possible and choosing to just live my life for now and enjoy each day. If I am under my calories, then great. If not, I am not going to beat myself up. I will re-start my healthy eating with the rest of the world on January 1. This is my choice and I will live with my consequences, but I cannot continue to belittle myself as I have been doing over the past week because I am miserable and life just isn't long enough to be miserable.

Detour 1

Wednesday I weighed in at 327.4 and then I just bottomed out. Thursday and Friday I had bad days at work and bunged emotionally.  It continued until now. As hubby was driving us home tonight from a Chinese/Japanese buffet, I realized what I had been doing to myself. I don't know why I allowed someone at work upset me so much that I derailed the progress that I had been making.  I justify my eating telling myself that I deserve for the way the person made me feel. WHATEVER!!!!! I allowed that person to affect me or better so I choose to re-act how I did.

I hate that I threw any the progress I had been making. I know I will forever have a struggle with food, but dang it's so frustrating. I just weighed in and I am at 333, but starting in the morning I will be back on track and I will get back to 327.4 and continue to lose.

Hubby and I have taken out all the junk food from the house and agreed to buy no soda for at least a week! We will conquer this demon!

December stats

Via Facebook

Today begins another month, so I weighed in unofficially and took my measurements. I weighed in at 329.2 and had lost 5 inches total from my waist, hips, and chest. I will NEVER see the 330s again!!

I will finish this month strong. I will not over-indulge this month throwing away the progress I have made. I will make this a lifestyle change.

Women Connect '12

I did my first link-up today to reach out and meet new bloggers. If you've found me from the link-up, welcome!  I'm pretty simple, so I figured I'd bullet point my life.

• Just turned 31 (gasp)
• Married to a God fearing man of almost 5 years
• Childless--struggling with infertility
• 4 dogs, 3 cats, and 3 turtles
• Clinical social worker
• AWANA director for t&t 
• Indiana AWANA ministry team member
• Pursing missionary position with my husband
• In the middle of my weight loss journey 
• Beginning to love jogging
• God is my number one
• Love coffee and diet Pepsi

Dreaming

I'm down for the count again with a sinus infection. I've been exercising the past seven days and have been eating within my caloric limits, yet I still gained 0.4 pounds this week. I'm feeling defeated right now because I can't maintain the motivation to have the life I want. I have no problem dreaming--it's the hard work that I have to put into my dreams.

I really wanted to be at 299 by January 1 and that's not going to happen now and it's totally my own fault. I started again in July this year with the hope that I would be at 299, but I didn't put forth that effort.

I have almost a full six months until my cruise and I WILL BE UNDER 300 POUNDS!!!!

What if?

When I was in the second grade I knew exactly what I wanted to do with my life and set the goals I needed to accomplish them. I had my life mapped out until I was 27. The goals stopped there because I thought I would have the "perfect" life and would not need any more goals as life would have fallen right into place. What did my eight yeAr old self set as goals for myself?

1. Become a social worker
2. Get married at 25
3. Buy a house
4. Become a therapist helping children

I accomplished all of them, too, and by the deadlines I had given myself. I thought that life would just fall into place when I achieved those four goals by having children and living happily ever after. Obviously that didn't happen.

I was 27 when my world came crashing down around me. It was barely 2009 (February to be exact) when both my parents died within a week of each other and is had zero direction in my life. I was spinning out of. control. I had my parents debt as well as our own debt sinking us. We had been trying to get pregnant (TTC) with no luck and my weight just continued to climb.

We finally filed for bankruptcy in order to keep our house and sanity. I sought out a doctor to help me understand the infertility, which just reinforced what was already in my head: lose weight!!! You'd think just hearing that I need to lose weight in order to get pregnant would jump start my weight loss, but did it? NO!!!!!

I took me a whole year to try to lose weight and I lost 82 pounds, but stopped working out and gained most of it back. Here I am again trying to regain my life by changing my lifestyle. I have finally realized that I cannot just get the weight off--I have make this a lifelong change.

I'm scared that I have waited too long to make a change in life. What if I lose the weight and still can't get pregnant? What if I'm too old or if there is a different reason for infertility? What if I can't get below 200? What if...

Thanksgiving 2012

I did something this Thanksgiving that I have never done before: WORKOUT!!  I ate too much breakfast, but I still ate breakfast mindfully. We had a late lunch at my in-laws and again I ate mindfully.  

Did I go over my calories? Yes.  

Did I drink soda? Yes. 

Did I go a 5K after lunch? YES!

After lunch, Dwaine and I walked a mile with his mother and nephew.  We then finished the 5K with his 8 year old nephew. Once we walked, we went back to their house to talk about what everyone wants for Christmas and then headed home to shower.  We ended up at Wal-Mart at 7:30pm on Thanksgiving to do some serious shopping.  We stood and walked around that darn store until midnight.

I got an Ipad that night from the best hubby in the world as an early Christmas present and stayed up way too late playing on it, too!  When I finally woke up on Friday I was so sore I could barely move, stand or sit.  Ouch!  Those concrete floors really hurt my fat body.  

Next year I will do better!!

Snap your fingers

I'm glad the scale moved some this week, but it is no where I would like it to be.  I think I will be okay to lose weight for next Wednesday's weigh in because I don't have anything scheduled to come up and wreck havoc on my diet.  The next week is a whole other issue, though.  We have Thanksgiving at my in-laws and then a birthday dinner that following Saturday, so I am already super apprehensive about eating healthy then.  Life would be so much easier if I could just snap my fingers and fix what I think is wrong in my life, but then I probably wouldn't learn what is necessary along this journey that I am on.

                                                Via: http://philtherhythm.files.wordpress.com

So far along this journey I have found that I enjoy more of the healthier items then I ever have before.  For example, I love steamed broccoli and cauliflower and sauteed brussels sprouts.  Who would have ever thought I'd like brussels sprouts, let alone crave them??  I still cannot handle Fage yogurt, it's just too bitter for my liking. I am experimenting more and more with different foods and recipes.  I hope I can make this a true lifestyle change. Until next time...

Obsessive

I'm becoming a wee bit obsessive over the number on the scale. I've gotten myself into the habit of checking my weight each and every day. I then beat myself up when there's a gain! So stupid. I had hubby put the scale up so high that I would have to climb to reach it, and if you know me well enough, I don't climb. Hubby and I have always had weigh in Wednesday and that will be the only time I will allow myself to weigh for the time being.

On an awesome note, we finished our first 5k at home Saturday afternoon when it was absolutely gorgeous outside. I felt amazing!! We went walking a mile today and I was in excruciating pain. When I got home and took my shoes off I found blisters on the bottom of both of my feet and in the joint of my big toe. It hurt just to walk or hobble. Ugh I'm taking a few days off!

0.07%

Here are the immediate goals that I have for myself.  I have already signed up and paid for my first ever 5K so I don't chicken out, but now I have to be able to actually do it!  I tried unsuccessfully the first week of couch to 5K and had to stop half way through it.  I will re-try it on Friday!

1. Weigh 299 pounds!!
2. Successfully finish W1D1 of C25K
3. Complete C25K
4. Finish a 5K (April 20, 2013)
5. Weigh 275.

I am really worried right now that I will fail.  I am so tired of failing at weight loss. Through this journey, I am quickly learning that I have no willpower or endurance. I will end this on a positive note, though.  Today hubby and I weighed in on our first weekly weight loss competition...and I beat him by 0.07%!!!  Ha ha. Now he has the full responsibility of taking care of the animals until next weigh in Wednesday.

Attempt 3

So I totally feel completely off the bandwagon. Hubby and I got back on yesterday. I weighed in at 332.4 and he in at 356. We are following as best as we can to Bob Harper's skinny rules. I am also following some of the former Biggest Loser contestants to see what all they eat and how they workout for inspiration. I also admire Amanda Tyson. Love her!!

Tonight I did the 1st half of C25K because it was all I could muster. We then ended the night with Biggest Loser on the Kinnect.

My goal is still to be 299 by New Year's Eve. I do not want to go into a new year weighing in the 300s!!!!!!!!

Next up--> detailed goals!

Turtle power!

I'm still trucking along on my weight loss journey. I've reaches 24 successive days of eating healthy. I haven't went over my calorie limit more than once. I'm still losing weight, but only at half pound increments weekly. It feels like this will take a lifetime to reach my ultimate weight loss goal! I did make mini goals to reach throughout my journey with my first goal being 330 by August 1. I would have had to lost 9 pounds in a month and at first it seemed very attainable, but with only losing 2.5 this month I will not reach that goal:( I will reevaluate my goals on August 1, but until then, I'm going to kick up my exercise routine. Slow & steady wins the race, right?

Cheater cheater

I haven't fallen off the bandwagon yet! I've stuck to my diet and have lost 10.5 pounds in two weeks. I didn't lose nearly as much this week as I did last week and that's okay!

Tonight I'm having my full on cheat meal and I'm completely enjoying without regret. I had a big Mac and a large fry with a diet coke! For snack right now I'm have popcorn and semi sweet Choco chips! Yum!

Plateau maybe?

I'm not sure what's going on with my body currently, but I'm tired of eating right, exercising, & watching my weight go up!! I'm not going to stress about it too much right now, but for next week I will adjust my food a little to see what changes happen then.

On a positive note: I turned down brownies tonight at church!! Huge accomplishment for me!

8.6

It's been 6 days since I've started this diet and I have stuck to it perfectly with the exception of Wednesday night's dinner. It has paid off too! I am down 8.6 pounds as I weighed in this morning at 339. I am well on my way to being 330 by August 1!

Hubby and I sat down last night to set our goals for weight loss. It will take me a whole 2 years and 2 months to reach my goal weight of 150lbs. It will take hubby 1 year 2 months to reach his goal of 210.

4th @ 1st

I hope everyone had a safe and happy Independence Day. I was at my church today from 9am-3pm working at our community outreach, 4th at 1st. It was a 106 degrees and even with sunblock, I'm burnt badly. I ate in moderation and drunk over 100ozs of water and still feel sick. I hope to feel better tomorrow and be back to my diet.

It's easy as 1-2-3

I weighed myself yesterday when I decided to get back on the healthy lifestyle bandwagon. I was pleased more then I should have been to see 347.6 staring back at me. I truly expected it to be in the 360s!

I typically set way too high goals for myself, so this time I've made a more attainable goal of 330 by August 1. My second goal is to be 299 by January 1.

The second change this time is instead of cheat days, I'll have cheat meals. I know I could do without them, but I am choosing not to at this time.

The last change are the rewards I allow myself. I typically would reach a goal and reward myself with food or drink. This was what got me in trouble in the first place, so why continue it!? Instead I will reward myself with books, clothes, and cooking utensils.

H2Oooh, where's the bathroom?

I've been really good today. I'm way under my calorie limit and feeling good! I've only had a little over 80ozs of water today, but I constantly have to pee! Is this normal? If so, do you ever get used to it?

I'm heading home from work now to have tilapia tacos on romain lettuce. On of my favorite meals!

No more gym!

I'm a total slacker! I haven't eaten healthy or exercised in so long. We went to the grocery store tonight and purchased $100 worth of healthy foods and will be trying to eat healthy next week!

We did the unthinkable over the weekend, too! We cancelled the gym membership. We are so tired of wasting $52.50 every single month to the gym when we don't use it ever. We went to craigslist and purchased a treadmill, exercise bike, & an elliptical machine all for $60! They all work great and are fairly new. We've turned our living room into a pseudo gym. So we now have zero excuse not to work out!

Epic Fail

Okay, well I suck at this whole blogging and weight loss thing.  I have so fallen off the band-wagon and binge ate for so long.  I'm heart-broken that I cannot get myself together to eat healthy.  I have always had my hubby right there with me to eat healthy and exercise, but he isn't into it either right now.  I have the desire, but not the drive to do well right now.  I am going to try start over tomorrow with a new leaf and get back on track. I've spent the last two hours surfing the web trying to motivate myself and stumbled across Who ate my blog.  He is very motivating for me since he has lost over 300 pounds without surgery. He posts each day on what he eats and drinks in addition to the exercise.  I have downloaded some of the iphone apps that he uses to see if I can be anymore successful. I need to find it within myself to do it and hopefully I can.

For breakfast today I had a fiber plus bar. I brought my lunch but my work buddy picked up from a local deli so I ordered.  I had a diet coke, doritos, and a deep fried bologna sandwich. I had a cupcake as a snack.  I fixed dinner when I got home. We had muenster chicken, green beans, and twice baked potatoes. I had a pepsi and piece of homemade cake.  Horrible day! I try to stay around 1600 calories and I'm sure I exceeded 3500!

Tomorrow's a new day!

Mini goal!!!

Okay, so I totally feel off the diet and exercise bandwagon. I cannot remember the last time I ate healthy or exercised....well until today. I wish I knew what was wrong with me, but I don't know. I just kind of gave up and didn't care. Sunday night a fire was lit under my butt and I went to Wal-Mart and bought more than $100.00 on just healthy food. Today I ate all healthy food and I am not tired nor am I hungry. Thus far I have only eaten 850 calories and I am done for the night. I missed that feeling so much more than I knew. 

I am back up to 332.6 calories and I hope to be at like 228 this Sunday. I know it's possible...I just need willpower. I've decided to make my first little mini goal here and I hope ya'll will hold me accountable for it. I work in a residential group home for teenage girls and their last day of school is May 25 and we have all kids of cool things planned for them. One of those big activities for them to do is for administration (me!) to take them to Holiday World for the day, which includes riding all the rides and going to the water park with them. I want to do this with them and enjoy myself. So, here's the goal: I will be at or under 299 pounds by June 1!!!!

The sickies

I've been sick 6 days now with a sinus and double ear infection. I'm on antibotics, but still haven't kicked the sickness. Needless to say, I haven't worked out for a long time. My goal is to get back into the gym next week because I have a fairly easy week at work, which is few and far in between. Hubby says he feels like crap because he's been gaining weight, too, so maybe he'll get his motivation back. Being fat sucks!

Superbowl

My hubby and I had a very healthy, low calorie lunch...I just wish the day would continue. I know I am in control of my life and what I eat, but I'm going to be weak. We are about to head to our church's evening service and then stay for the superbowl party. Everyone has been asked to bring snacky type foods, which will not be healthy and I'll enjoy every bite of it. I just hoping my spinach/artichoke dip doesn't come home with me :)

We sat down last night and schedule gym time into our already crazy week to ensure we are there every night for the next 7 days. I'll update ya to see if that actually happens!

If anyone is on facebook (and who really isn't anymore) there's a group called Sunshine's Journey to 199 that is a great tool for weight loss...you might wanna check it out.

Even though my beloved Colts are not playing, I still have a Manning to watch! Go Giants!!!

Here goes nothing!

Dwaine 01/01/2011

Christy 01/01/2011

Us 12/25/2011

My hubby, Dwaine, and I have been on a weight loss journey since January 2011. We have both been overweight our entire life and we finally got tired of the excess weight. We did really well the first 6 months of the year (I had lost 87 pounds and Dwaine lost 100 pounds) until we lost our jobs within four days of each other and essentially gave up (and gained some of the weight back). We started back the journey again this January, but we just don't have the steam that we had last year. As of today, I have lost 65 pounds total and Dwaine has lost 47 pounds total. I currently weigh 327 and he weighs 350. Join us on our journey!